Homesickness- me? Really?

I don't think that is what it is though.  Honestly.  Not me.

So I am coming up on almost three years straight in Florida.  Five years total.

But is it time to go home?

Or am I trying to run away from my struggles? Again.

I'm not happy at work.  I am indecisive (again) for school.

What would make me happy?

School... The second time around...

I am struggling.  I am struggling with money.  I am struggling on keeping myself together.

I try to say I have no regrets in life.  But the longer I am in school (for the second time), the more I regret not doing things correctly the first time.

This time I can not just earn a "B" on a test because I didn't study.  I can not take out student loans and not worry about money.  I can not not be involved.

I have to do everything better, faster, than I would have had the luxury of completing the first time around.  Because that first time is going to follow me around, and I have to prove that I am better than that.

The beginning of change

Sitting here in a waiting room. Not to see a doctor.

To see a debt counselor.

I can't believe I have gotten myself into this mess. What would I change if I could? Getting a credit line allowed me to go on my Germany excursion on my own. Getting a credit line allowed me to go to Munich again. Get my computer. Go back to Florida. Buy my scooter.

But I was having financial issues before I even opened a credit line. I had even borrowed money from a boyfriend! Oh the horror!

Yes, I think part of my issues did stem from just going to college- and the college that I did choose. At UM, I was opened up to a world I had never known before. But to explore that world takes money. So I worked a lot, and it still wasn't enough. And social status and wanting more than what I grew up with.

There- I said it. I want more than what I grew up with.

Not that I EVER went without.

I just want more. And now I'm in this mess because I choose the wrong way to achieve it.

Financial Issues

I've decided that I am going to start writing about my current financial crisis.
I am overwhelmed with credit card debt. I need help. So I am going to see a debt counselor on Thursday.
I need to make a change. And this is just the beginning.

STA World Traveler Internship Application Video

It may sound cliche, but this has been one of the most interesting, profound, educational experiences that I've had.  Okay, not life changing in a huge way, but life changing none the less.... 
Okay, my words aren't working the way I want them to.
I think I am a step closer to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Yes, I have known it is traveling.  But traveling alone doesn't pay the bills.  In fact, it takes away from the bills.  It's supposed to be the vacation earned from paying the bills.
Okay I'm rambling.
By just applying to this internship, I learned more about social media- flickr, g+, LinkedIn, youtube, etc. etc. etc.  It's not like I was in the dark, I've been an avid Facebooker, I used to have a MySpace profile (but it's kinda out of date now).  I've had a twitter account, but haven't done much with it (I didn't know what DM meant....). 
And I think social media is going to have the answer.  It's going to be the answer.  Many of the applicants for the internship are communication and/or film arts majors.  I want to continue with photography.  And I do want to finish my degree at UM.  So yeah, I do have a lot to think about.  But with every discovery, every piece of information, I think I'm getting closer to finding the answer.  :)

WTF!!!!

So, as you may or may not know, I've been working on this STA World Traveler Internship application for a couple weeks now.  Hence the nonsensical autobiography post, the digital spring cleaning, new g+ profile, new profile pics, yada yada, yada.

I have FOUR days left.

I really need to get on the biography.  The video, well, everything is ready to go---  I just need to shoot and edit.  I mean, I have every word planned, every photo picked.  I just need to actually put myself in front of the camera.

But today, just now, I had a major set back.

I JUST realized with my digital spring cleaning, I deleted all my pictures from all my blogs.  They were linked to my g+ account, and I thought I would just delete from the profile.  Little did I know that they would be deleted from the blog also.  So now I have to somehow get them back into my blogs.  I really don't want my blog to look like....  well, I don't want it to look stupid.

Another lesson learned.

My Biography

How to describe me....
How to describe myself....
I need the best (short) biography ever.
Okay....  Let's start with words, adjectives.

I am passionate and interesting.  Creative and filled with talent. 

Okay.  I need to describe myself without sounding like a narcissist.  But how do you do that? 
I'm not going to say that I'm stupid and idiotic with a low-self esteem.
Because I'm not.

I can light up a room.  When I want to.  I'm acquisitive and filled with wanderlust.

I need more interesting adjectives.  Something out of the norm.

Unusual, but in a good way.

Luminous.
Wanderlust.
Enthusiastic.
Vivacious.
Acquisitive.
Brilliant.
Zealous.
Animated.
Scintillating.

Yes, I can use a thesaurus.  An online thesaurus.

:)